The Real Me & True Essence of a Compassionate Home

Mia & Mommy

 

There are a lot of ideals I associate with the term “Compassionate Home”, but I’m going to keep this as real as possible.

When I first launched this website, I briefly described what a Compassionate Home is in this post.

Since then, my thoughts on this topic have expanded quite a bit as I spent the summer developing my first foundational course (which will officially launch next year), speaking to several people about my life’s work, and connecting with other heart-centered, conscious women entrepreneurs. Then, as I began to take a couple clients through the material for the course, I knew I needed to share my expanded concept of a Compassionate Home with you here.

What I think is most important for you to become aware of when creating your own Compassionate Home:

Above all else, a Compassionate Home needs to be a place that is free of stress! It needs to be a place that is safe for us to learn, experiment, and grow—a place that gives us permission to explore and to be WHO WE ARE!

A Compassionate Home is a refuge where we should feel comfortable in our own skin, content with where we are in life RIGHT NOW because we have faith that every moment that passes is the right moment, leading us towards the experiences we are meant to have.

A Compassionate Home is where there is evidence of our journey—past, present, and future–it is a reflection of our unique identity, a catalyst for helping us realize our true purpose and potential.

This website/blog is an extension of my own Compassionate Home

Recently I had a profound realization: If I can’t be myself 100% on my website, how can I stick to that truth in my own home?

You see, building something like this website awakens the perfectionist in me. I spent hours/weeks trying to get the graphics just right in the beginning. I wanted every single post to be meaningful, interesting, and perfect–with the perfect image to complement it. I’ve been avoiding putting more pictures up of myself because I’m waiting to get professional ones. And I’ve been avoiding doing a few videos because my space is not exactly how I wish to present it.

All of this led me to realize I’ve been falling behind on a lot of other things in my life because they aren’t perfect, too.

We haven’t had a family photo taken since my daughter was born because I wanted to lose the weight I gained after my body broke down from the stress and grief of losing my mother to suicide. My daughter is now 7 going on 8 and there is no family photo of us.

I also came to realize that I’ve been avoiding having friends and family over at my house because I’ve used this space as my healing refuge for the last 10 years, and need to work on letting more people into my life again.

We need to stop WAITING for everything in our lives to be perfect and embrace how incredible things are RIGHT NOW!

With that in mind, I thought I’d get real here, right now, with all of you and set the record straight 🙂

First and foremost–don’t be intimidated by my title of “Interior Designer” or “Design Psychology Coach”. This does not mean that I enter your home looking for every last fault in your decor. Nor does this mean that I have my own home entirely put together from top to bottom. What it means is that I’ve spent a lot of time figuring out what makes life more meaningful and I’ve stumbled upon a way of living and being in the world that makes it more beautiful, enjoyable, and worthwhile.

It also means that I’m human, which means I’m not perfect in any sense. I still have my own struggles, I’ve just learned how to navigate them a bit better.

So I decided I need to try something this winter on my website. I decided that I need to share my very real, IMPERFECTLY beautiful home with you, along with my IMPERFECTLY beautiful self to fully demonstrate the true essence of what a Compassionate Home is.

This means that I also give myself permission to try new ideas and to STOP if they don’t feel right, or are not aligned with the message I want to share with the world.

With that in mind, I thought I’d tell you a little more about the REAL me:

  • I get a lot of creative ideas. (Ask my husband or kids, and they’ll tell you this is the understatement of the century!)
  • I like to collect a lot of things for my creative ideas.
  • I struggle to figure out how to store all of these things I collect for my creative ideas.
  • My daughter usually wants to help me with my creative ideas, and then I struggle against my inner perfectionist who sometimes not so silently says “NO, I want to do it myself so I can get it just right!”
  • I am a mother before anything else.
  • Which means I often don’t take care of my own health and wellbeing the way I should.
  • I have a REALLY hard time setting boundaries –which means I like to avoid conflict as much as possible, which means my parenting choices are not exactly on par with a lot of other people’s ideals.
  • I believe in authenticity, though, so I will continue to follow my intuition/instincts when raising my children, even if it isn’t status quo.
  • I LOVE STORIES! I have this dream of sharing my story with you through the different spaces and things that make up my own place called home, perhaps in a documentary or visual memoir.
  • I’m a dreamer who struggles to embrace life exactly the way it is right now with appreciation and gratitude because I’m capable of seeing POSSIBILITY everywhere I look. When you see possibility everywhere, it’s very hard to just embrace what is…but I’m working on that 🙂
  • I struggle with guilt. Guilt that I’m not spending enough time with my kids, guilt that I’m not finishing projects I said I was going to finish, guilt that I’m asking too much of my husband after a long week of work, guilt that I’m not where I should be by now in terms of my own health, wellbeing and life dreams.
  • I’m emotional. Yes, I’m a woman who fully admits that she is emotional. When something resonates with me, I feel it to my very core. This means that if I stumble upon a truth that hurts, I will cry (and probably tell you about it). It also means that if I stumble upon something I know is 100% happiness, I will feel elated with joy (and most certainly tell you about it).
  • I have so many ideas I want to pursue, but often lack the energy I need to pursue them—which is why I’m so interested in health and wellness.
  • I have a lot of healing yet to do—but I can also recognize how far I’ve already come.
  • I want my life to be meaningful and beautiful. I want my children to have a life filled with good memories—I don’t want them to have to struggle with the pain I went through, the loss, the loneliness, the feelings of being unloved and unworthy.
  • And most of all, I want to inspire people to LIVE ABUNDANDTLY! I want to encourage more people to come alive, to create a home they love that truly nourishes their soul so they can go out into the world capable of more love, more inspiration, more creativity, more passion, and more purpose.

There you have it! A brief overview of my own imperfect beauty and hopefully a new perspective when it comes to looking at the possibilities within the place YOU call home.

Also, I’m hoping this post sparks a new wave of courage within me so I can begin to post more often. I’m in an entirely new phase of my Healing Quest as I write this–and it’s a journey I’m feeling called to share.

With Love,

~ Darcey

Darcey Rojas is the founder of The Compassionate Home. She is a Holistic Designer, Certified Design Psychology Coach, and Green Design Center Trade Partner dedicated to creating positive home environments that heal mind, body, and soul, strengthen family relationships, and nurture our true potential. Her approach to conscious home and lifestyle design involves designing spaces that meet our needs, encourage good habits, bring us closer to our loved ones, and support our health and wellbeing on a mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual level.

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