The Healing Benefits of Self-Compassion

How hard are you on yourself?

Do you beat yourself up {metaphorically} for not getting something right the first time? Do you call yourself names if you fail or make a mistake?

Are you even aware of the messages you send yourself on a daily basis?

If you change ANYTHING in your life, start by changing the way you speak to yourself.

If you crave love, then first love yourself! The same affection you show towards your spouse, partner, parents, or children–you must show towards yourself. If you whisper internal “words” of love instead of criticism, you will cultivate an inner beauty that shines outwards. This radiance will only draw more love into your life. Believe that you are ” intrinsically deserving of care and concern just like everybody else.”

If you crave acceptance, then first unconditionally accept yourself! Do not set standards that are impossible to meet. Accept that you are who you are, acknowledge that there is room for improvement, but who you are right now is worth celebrating in all your beautiful imperfection. To make mistakes is to be human. Everyone experiences this, as it is a natural part of growth and change.

If you crave faith that you can succeed, then first believe in yourself! If YOU don’t believe in your talents, your intelligence, and your motivation, then no one else will either. When you truly believe in yourself and what you are capable of achieving, you emit a certain level of energy that people recognize as confidence. When you exude confidence, you’ll find that people admire that and will naturally support you in your endeavors.

There is scientific evidence that proves self-criticism actually inhibits your productivity and your ability to find happiness, which is why practicing self-compassion is essential to your psychological, emotional, and physical well-being.

Don’t let that internal voice of negativity stand in the way of your happiness!

The key to true success in life and work, is to practice self-compassion.

If you are kind to yourself, you will cultivate resilience, learn and grow from your mistakes more quickly, and experience more feelings of  contentment, joy, and happiness.

If you are kind to yourself, you won’t be consumed by stress, shame, or regret–the emotions that deplete us of our precious reserves of energy!

And if you are kind to yourself, you’ll find it’s easier to be kind to others. You’ll have more patience, understanding, and tolerance for the people in your life. You’ll stop feeling resentful towards those who appear to be happier/more successful than you, and you’ll experience a desire to encourage those you encounter who are struggling. There’ll be less judgment and criticism towards everyone–less anger and resentment.

Kindness/Compassion for others begins with Kindness/Compassion for yourself, but don’t just take my word for it:

For those of us who truly desire to show compassion towards the world around us, it’s vital that we begin by cultivating compassion towards ourselves.

I came across the info graphic below today, created by Emma Seppala, Ph.D,  Associate Director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University.

I thought it was a great way to share this concept of self-compassion with you! If you read anything, read the four examples at the bottom of this image that show you HOW you can practice self-compassion on a daily basis.

It’s not always an easy thing to master, as it requires a deep awareness of that ongoing, internal mental conversation you have that is directed towards your actions, reactions, and personal beliefs about your identity and abilities.

As a self-proclaimed perfectionist–this is something I’ve struggled with for years. Somewhere along the way, I discovered that being good at art, writing, or anything creative brought with it a certain type of approval and positive attention. As a consequence, I strived harder and harder to get things RIGHT, in order to get more of this approval/attention.

I lived this way for years, before realizing how miserable I was–how stressed out I was. While creativity is a key thread to the fabric of my identity, I now accept that things take time and I won’t always get it right the first time around. Believe it or not, I’m perfectly okay with that.

I’d rather try and learn from my failures than stay passive, paralyzed, immobile. Forward momentum takes courage and a willingness to make mistakes. Creativity is a daily experiment, one that won’t always achieve the results I hope for–but it’s a process that is essential to my purpose in life.

And that attention I used to crave? Well, it’s amazing how loving and accepting yourself can provide you with that same sense of euphoria.

There’s a whole movement happening right now that addresses this phenomenon.

To feel truly loved and accepted, you must look internally. We cannot rely on outer fulfillment to experience this.

I hope you will take a moment to consider this and take a look at “The Scientific Benefits of Self-Compassion” info graphic below. I’m definitely going to be following the work of Emma Seppala, what a wonderful gift she is giving to the world!

~ Darcey

The Scientific Benefits of Self-Compassion INFOGRAPHIC - An Infographic from Emma Seppälä, Ph.D.

Embedded from Emma Seppälä, Ph.D.

Darcey Rojas is the founder of The Compassionate Home. She is a Holistic Designer, Certified Design Psychology Coach, and Green Design Center Trade Partner dedicated to creating positive home environments that heal mind, body, and soul, strengthen family relationships, and nurture our true potential. Her approach to conscious home and lifestyle design involves designing spaces that meet our needs, encourage good habits, bring us closer to our loved ones, and support our health and wellbeing on a mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual level.

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