The best definition I have found on Conscious Parenting comes from Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of the incredible book: The Conscious Parent.
Above you will find an excellent video of her definition of Conscious Parenting and why this concept is crucial to the development of our children.
And the following is an excerpt from her book:
“This innovative parenting style recognizes the child’s potential to spark a deep soul-searching within the parent that leads to transformation. Instead of being merely the receiver of the parents’ psychological and spiritual legacy, children function as ushers of the parent’s development.
Once parents are learning alongside their children, power, control, and dominance become an archaic language. Instead, mutual kinship and spiritual partnership are the focus of the parent-child journey.
Parents unwittingly pass on an inheritance of psychological pain and emotional shallowness. To handle the behavior that results from this, traditional books on parenting abound with clever techniques for control and quick fixes for dysfunctionality.
In contrast, in Dr. Tsabary’s conscious approach to parenting, children serve as mirrors of their parents’ forgotten self.
The parent who is willing to look in the mirror has an opportunity to establish a relationship with their own inner state of wholeness.
Once a parent finds their way back to their essence, they enter into communion with their children. The pillars of the parental ego crumble as the parent awakens to the ability of their children to transport them into a state of presence.”
The way I interpret this, is that Conscious Parenting goes deeper than parenting on an intuitive level. It asks us to heal ourselves first, so that we are better able to raise confident, courageous, compassionate children.
This is something I experienced first hand after my mother’s suicide and the birth of my daughter. My grief, anger, despair, and depression were so volatile during the first few years of my daughters life, I cringe to think how much of her sensitivity to noise and harsh words came as a direct result of her bearing witness to my pain.
It’s not something I usually care to admit, but I knew that I had to heal myself if I was ever going to be able to be the mother I wanted to be.
I’ve made a lot of progress since then, but it takes continual practice and constant mindfulness.
In this section of The Compassionate Home website I’ll be sharing more of this journey with you, as well as any vital information I think could benefit all of us parents.
And please, if you are struggling with this as well, email me and let’s talk. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs we will ever do, but it is also one of the most rewarding 🙂